It’s been a normal day. I’ve been to work, had dinner with hubby and the kiddo, walked the dogs with the hubs, and now I’m writing while listening to a program on ID — I call it the murder channel (we watch a shit ton of true crime shows in this house). I’ve also spent a lot of time daydreaming about what I will do with my diva den once we move. I’m super excited about it. I’ve fantasized having my own personal space for many years now. A place where I can lock myself away from the outside world and really concentrate on writing, reading or doing witchy things — an escape. Now it looks like I’m going to get my diva den and I’m ecstatic. I found a picture on Facebook of this really cool loft bed. It looks very bohemian and, as soon as I saw it, I knew that it would be the perfect addition to my new happy place. I can’t wait to get to decorate it in my own style.
Our new home won’t be ready to move in until mid-July. The wait is going to kill me. I get caught up in things so easily, and three months is a long time to live an obsession. I’ve already found an app that’s allowed me to download the floor plan and arrange the furniture to scale. As a matter of fact, just before I started writing this post, I rearranged the furniture in the diva den to accommodate my loft bed. I know. I’m such a dork, but it makes me happy. Anyway, I’m not the only one that’s getting caught up in the excitement. The hubs has started a wish list of the furniture that he’s going to have in his man-cave. I guess that it’s easy to get swept away.
It’s been a crazy few months. We put our house on the market in mid-March. Showing the house while living in it has been a lot of work, not to mention stressful — this whole thing has been totally overwhelming — but it’s finally paid off. We have a contract on the house that will close at the end of May. From then until mid-July we’ll be living with my parents. I’m extremely grateful to my mom and dad for letting us stay with them, but I have to admit, I’m not looking forward to it. It’s going to be crowded, very crowded, but the wait will be worth it when we get to move into our new home.
So, as I’ve already mentioned, the last few months have been really stressful. How has my mental health held up to the strain? Well, I have been dealing with a lot of depression. I’ve mentioned that in a previous post. What I haven’t talked about is the hyper-mania. The obsession over the diva den is part of the hyper-manic states. I can stay awake all night decorating and arranging my room in my mind. There’s no telling how many floor plans I have printed out, on which I’ve written my many ideas. Writing — whether it’s in a journal, on my blog, brainstorming or creative writing — sometimes keeps me up well past when I should go to bed too. I probably shouldn’t, but I like hyper-mania. It feels good and I feel like I’m accomplishing things. The unfortunate thing is that it doesn’t last long, and inevitably leads to depression. All that lack of sleep is no good.
All and all though, life’s been good. The depression’s a bitch, but I’ve learned to deal with it. Sometimes I get a little whiny about it. I’m okay with that. I’m happy. Hubs and I have worked hard to get to this point in our life together. If you were to ask us 17 years ago if we would ever get here, we would have laughed. Now, we’re buying our second house — one with a diva den. A chemical imbalance might not always allow me to see things clearly, but I have a good life… we have a good life. That’s the happy place that I’ve found in my mind speaking. I’ve found it many times before, but once I leave, it’s hard to find my way back. When I do find it again, it’s like discovering it for the first time. So, here’s to new spaces.