I really don’t have a lot of melodrama in my life — nothing sit-on-the-edge-of-your-seat exciting to write about. I guess that I could make some shit up, but I don’t have the energy for that. The sad truth is that, if I didn’t have to work, I would totally be a hermit. I would stay locked away in my house with mostly my thoughts to keep me company. I think that this is the reason why I’ve heard of so many people with mental illnesses — who, through no fault of their own, can’t work — lament not being able to do so. No matter how seemingly antisocial some of us are, deep down we know that we need human interaction. For those of us who are socially awkward, work is our only hope.
I, personally, hate shopping. I don’t like going out because that means that I have to interact; and I try to avoid that whenever I can. It’s not because I don’t like people. People can be cool. It’s because I don’t feel significant; because I feel embarrassed; because I tend to have a hard time expressing myself. I get nervous and forget and fumble words. I don’t feel like I can be myself because others will find me strange. These things aren’t necessarily true. They are just the ugly symptoms of a chemical imbalance in my mind that likes to tell me lies that belittle me. If it wasn’t for work, I might avoid going out all together and stay alone with my negative thoughts eating away at my sanity. A job can be a great distraction.
As much as our brains might not want us to see it, most of us know that mingling with people is a good thing. It makes us experience thoughts and feelings that we just can’t own our own. It makes us realize that those hurtful words that our minds like to whisper in our ears are not true. Of course, there will always be those negative people who reinforce our fears, but the majority of people that we meet are good and bear us no ill will. I might have a boring life, but I’m one of the lucky ones. I am able to work. With that, I’m forced out into the world to meet those shiny, happy people who help me escape my own mind.